Your heart and soul
by jammiedodgersandbowties
Summary: Rose writes down all her feelings about the Doctor onto a piece of paper. She throws it up to the TARDIS to throw to the universe, and maybe, just maybe throw her some happiness back. Set with an alternate ending to Rose and the Doctor's lives. 10/Rose.


Dear TARDIS, Dear Universe.

The Doctor was right when he had said that you were alive, and now our love for one another was more alive than ever. Mine and the Doctor's that was.

At times the world seemed so unfriendly, so sinister. Sometimes it seemed that there were more bad things then there were good, but that wasn't true, there was definitely better, and all you had to do was look hard enough. That's what I did, and that was how I met him, the Doctor.

Before my life wasn't anything special, I had believed that _I_ wasn't anything special.

As I once said 'Planet Earth. This is where I was born. And this is where I died. The first nineteen years of my life, nothing happened. Nothing at all, not ever. And then I met a man called the Doctor. A man who could change his face. And he took me away from home in his magical machine. He showed me the whole of time and space. I thought it would never end… Well, that's what I thought. But then came the Army of Ghosts. Then came Torchwood and the war. That's when it all ended. This is the story of how I died.'

Except I didn't die, and I am still here with the Doctor waiting for my happy ending. I have most of it, just not the last part, a companionship beyond friendship, love as it was called. We had it, we just hadn't shown it to its full extent. I wanted to. I hoped that he wanted to as well.

Anyway, that is now beside the point…

So, after I met him there was no going back.

I had sailed away from safe and explored and dreamed to the end of space and time, and yet there were still many more things to discover.

When I'm with the Doctor I come to accept everything about myself.

All my dreams have turned into reality with the Doctor and that is all there is to it, in regards to simplicity anyway. There are no apologies and regrets with the Doctor, time and space have their own relative dimensions as well as everything else and the Doctor and I had no time to stop and think, to regret.

The Doctor has taught me many things. He taught me that everything is okay in the end, and if it's not, then it is not the end. I don't think it will ever be the end for him, anyway.

It's true that I used to wonder why my eyes were placed in front of me when I continued to look at the back of me, the past that is. He answered that one for me as well. My eyes were placed in front of me so I could look forward, and not back. It was important to look ahead rather than to look back, unless necessary of course, i.e. when enemies were chasing after you – but that's a whole different story.

Time with you was majestic, wonderful in all ways possible.

Being in your presence, your all-knowing existence.

The Universe, The TARDIS.

Such a lovely thing you both are.

I seemed to laugh my heart out with the Doctor every day and every night.

I had even danced in the rain and hadn't cared when my makeup had ran, stereotypical I know, but it was only because he didn't care you see.

I learnt to cherish the small moments with him because they seemed to end up as the biggest ones.

I learnt to live, laugh, forgive, forget, and most importantly, I learnt to love.

I learnt to love him.

When I met the Doctor he told that he was broken and that I had fixed him.

Well, he seemed to fix me too.

I was once hurt that I had wasted all my memories with people that only seemed to hurt me in the end. The Doctor told me not to worry about that. He told me life was too short for regrets and that's why he had moved on when all those horrific things had happened to him in the time war.

Of course he would never forget them, but life went on. It had to. Time kept moving, it was on a relative basis, a dimensional concept that never seemed to stop. Would it ever?

In that, I learnt that it didn't matter who you shared your memories with, because when the good ones came with the people that you loved, well, that's when it counted. It's true that.

The Doctor was so old, yet so young, so wise and so beautiful. The Doctor, _my_ Doctor.

I believe that what's meant to be will always find its way, but, then again I'm still waiting. I guess I don't even really know if it's meant to be, the Doctor and I that is.

The Doctor taught me some more things though.

He said to never give up, to not just let things happen, to say no, and to have the guts to do what's right when everyone else is running away. I believe I've done that, I'm trying to do so every day.

The Doctor inspires me to be the best me possible.

Waiting is hard though, if in the end you are waiting for nothing. That's what scares me.

If the Doctor always told me that I was brave, strong, smart, beautiful and loved, then why didn't he do anymore to show it? Why hadn't we reached our happy ending yet? Was it just _my_ happy ending?

Then, he also told me something else which altered my chain of thought.

He told me sometimes that what you wanted wasn't always what you got, yet in the end what you did get would be much better than the initial wanting, than what you had originally desired over for such a very long time.

It sounded unclear at first but I understood in the end.

He told me that I was of infinite worth and that I made him feel special. He told me I was pretty alright for a human, but was that all it was? Was I just _alright_ for a _human_?

So, sometimes the Universe does silly things.

After all,

It made the Doctor and I meet.

Hopefully the Universe and you will be kind?

From,

One girl who is still waiting – every day for her happy ending…

 **She throws it up to the TARDIS and the TARDIS throws it up to the universe, hopefully in the end throwing her some happiness back.**

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I would just like to say a big thank you for all the views and feedback I have been receiving on my writing, it all means so much! X


End file.
